Escape to Paradise: Unforgettable Stays at the Columbia Gorge Inn
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into a whirlwind tour of the Columbia Gorge Inn – or, as I'm now affectionately calling it, "Escape to Paradise." And trust me, after spending a weekend there, I need to tell you everything. Forget those sterile, corporate reviews. This is going to be messy, honest, and yes, maybe a little bit obsessed.
First things first: Accessibility. Let's be real, it's a HUGE deal. And the Inn? They get it. Wheelchair access? Yep, all over the place. Elevators, ramps, the works. I'm not disabled myself, but I saw how effortlessly they navigated the property with guests who were, and it was genuinely heartwarming. Kudos, Inn, kudos.
Internet access? Oh, honey, let’s just say you can stay connected. Free Wi-Fi in ALL ROOMS?! Hallelujah! And just in case you're old school, there's also Internet (LAN) access if you hanker for the wired world. This is important because I, like any modern human, needed that sweet, sweet internet. The Wi-Fi in public areas was rock solid, too. I could actually, you know, work on my laptop while sipping a latte (more on that later) in the lobby.
Alright, let's talk about the good stuff. Things to do, ways to relax… Oh, where to even begin? The spa/sauna setup is pure bliss. I’m not a huge spa person, usually, I find it a bit intimidating. But the scent of the eucalyptus in the sauna? Divine. They also have a steamroom… I’m not even going to pretend I know the difference between a sauna and a steam room, but both were fantastic. And a pool with a view? Yes, please! Picture this: After a morning of hiking the gorge (more on that in a sec), you're sinking into the warm water, the sun kissing your skin, and the breathtaking vista of the Columbia River Gorge stretching before you. Seriously, I almost cried. They also offer your "standard" massage, body scrub, and body wrap… but the atmosphere elevates it all. I didn't try them, but I was tempted!
Okay, so the fitness center… I'm not a gym rat. I like to say I'm going to work out, but then I end up snuggling in bed with a book, which is what I did. BUT! I peeked in. Seemed well-equipped, if you are that type of person, and I'm sure the gym/fitness equipment was amazing.
Cleanliness and Safety: This is a post-pandemic world, and let's be real, we're all a little germ-phobic now. The Columbia Gorge Inn gets it. There was Daily disinfection in common areas, Hand sanitizer everywhere, and more Anti-viral cleaning products than I’ve ever seen in one place. They’ve got room sanitization opt-out available, which I love because I, for one, support opting in. Rooms sanitized between stays, Sterilizing equipment in action – everything felt impeccably clean without feeling clinical. Plus, they have Staff trained in safety protocol, and I saw them in action, and they were so diligent. Oh, and Cashless payment service? Genius!
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Ah, the fuel for the soul. Let's get into this because this is where things got really interesting. I'm a foodie, so I'm going to be honest. The Breakfast (buffet)? Good, not mind-blowing. Basic continental/American fare. But the restaurants! They have some of the best views you'll ever see. I mean, the view alone makes every meal worth it. They have an A la carte in restaurant, and a Vegetarian restaurant. I only tried the main restaurant, but one night, I saw the chef and I was absolutely mesmerized. He was crafting this gorgeous dish but I don't know what it was. The presentation? Gorgeous. Not something you see every day, I'm telling you. The happy hour? A godsend after a long day of hiking. They also had a Poolside bar, which I loved, because you can have a cocktail while you're in the pool. Also, I recommend the desserts in the restaurant, they are amazing, and I don't usually say that.
The coffee shop was a lifesaver. I can't start my day without a good coffee. And I’m still dreaming about the Coffee/tea in restaurant, I would go back just for that. Also, I can't forget the Room service. Because, you know, laziness.
Services and Conveniences: They've thought of everything. Daily housekeeping kept the place spotless. Concierge service was super helpful, getting you from A to B. Plus, the facilities for disabled guests meant a fully accessible experience. The gift/souvenir shop was a treasure trove, in case you need to find a gift.
For the Kids: They have a Family/child friendly approach. All round, it's great for the whole family.
Available in all rooms: Air conditioning, alarm clock, bathrobes, a super-nice shower, and of course, free Wi-Fi. The window that opens thing got a big thumbs up from me - I like to breathe fresh air. It was all great stuff.
Now, for the juicy bits… the experiences that made this place truly unforgettable:
One day, I decided to take a hike.
The sun was shining.
The birds were singing.
And I completely underestimated the trail.
Let me tell you, I am not a hiker. I have more of a "Netflix and chill" kind of relationship with nature. But I thought, "Hey, fresh air, exercise, scenic views! What could go wrong?"
Everything. Everything could go wrong.
The trail was steep. The air was thin. I was sweating more than a politician on election night. But then, I got to a viewpoint.
And.
Woah.
The Columbia River Gorge unfolded before me in all its glory. It was like a postcard come to life. Absolutely breathtaking. The kind of view that makes you stop and just… breathe.
I sat there, on a rock, legs aching, and just soaked it all in. That moment – that single, perfect moment – made the entire miserable hike worthwhile.
Later, stumbling back to the Inn, exhausted and exhilarated, I realized that's the magic of this place. It's about the experience. It's about pushing your boundaries, finding that view, that moment of pure joy. And The Inn is the perfect base camp, the perfect place to collapse afterward with a cocktail in hand.
Now for the hard sell… because I want you to go:
ARE YOU READY FOR PARADISE? (Okay, maybe that's a little dramatic, but hear me out.)
Are you craving an escape from the ordinary? A chance to reconnect with nature, with yourself, with the people you love? Then the Columbia Gorge Inn is calling your name.
Here's the Deal:
- Unforgettable Views: Wake up to the most stunning scenery you've ever seen. Seriously, it's postcard perfect.
- Luxury and Comfort: Think plush robes, comfy beds, and all the amenities you crave. Free Wi-Fi in all rooms means you can work (or stream) with ease.
- Spa Bliss: Melt away your stress with a massage, a sauna session, or a dip in the pool.
- Adventures Abound: Hiking trails, waterfalls, and outdoor activities galore. Or, just chill and relax. The choice is yours.
- Safety First: They are meticulous about cleanliness, so you can relax and enjoy your stay.
But here's the really good part:
For a limited time, book your "Escape to Paradise" at the Columbia Gorge Inn and receive a complimentary bottle of local wine upon arrival! Plus, enjoy a 15% discount on all spa treatments during your stay.
This is how you do it:
- Visit EscapeToParadise.com (yes, I made that up, just go to the Columbia Gorge Inn website) and book your stay.
- Use the promo code "GorgeGetaway" at checkout.
- Prepare to be amazed.
Don't wait! This is your chance to experience the magic of the Columbia Gorge Inn. Trust me, you deserve it. Book your escape today, and get ready to fall in love.
P.S. I’m already planning my return trip. Seriously, I'm going to need a vacation from my vacation…
Indonesian Paradise: Your Cozy 1BR Escape (IR38A)
Alright, buckle up buttercups! This ain't your perfectly polished travel brochure. We're diving headfirst into the Columbia Gorge Inn, and trust me, it's gonna get messy.
Columbia Gorge Inn: A Hot Mess Itinerary (with a dash of hope)
Day 1: Arrival & "Rustic" Charm? (Oh, Honey…)
- 1:00 PM: Arrival at the Columbia Gorge Inn. Okay, so the drive up was gorgeous. Seriously, the mountains were majestic. But the inn…well, let's just say the website photos were taken with a serious filter. The "rustic" aesthetic? More like "dated with a hint of grandma's attic." The lobby smells faintly of mothballs and… is that… pine-scented air freshener attempting to fight off the ghost of decades past? My stomach churns a bit, not gonna lie.
- 1:30 PM: Check-In Chaos (And My Wallet Weeps). The guy at the front desk, bless his heart, looks like he's been working here since the Eisenhower administration. He’s sweet, but I think I saw a dust bunny dance across his nametag. Checks in takes 20 minutes because they couldn’t find my reservation but I was able to find it on my phone. Then, I got hit with the "resort fee" and my eyes widened. Really? Resort fees? At this… inn? My wallet cried a single, mournful tear. I swear, this is the beginning of a saga.
- 2:00 PM: Room Revelation (The Good? The Bad? The Ugly?). Okay, let's be real. The room itself wasn't terrible. Actually, the view from the balcony is breathtaking. The giant bed is kinda scary, but the air conditioning? Glorious. However, the bathroom has that charming (read: musty) smell of old plumbing. The showerhead looks like it's been there since the dawn of time. And the TV remote… well, let's just say it’s held together by tape and pure will. Still, the view!!
- 3:00 PM: Gorge-ous Views (But My Knees Hurt Already). Needed a stroll, so decided to walk the grounds a bit to get my bearings. The gardens are kinda nice, but the paths are uneven, and my ankles are already screaming. Saw some chipmunks though! Adorable little thieves. Suddenly, a massive, old, beat-up pickup truck with a bumper sticker that said "I (Heart) Oregon" rumbled past. Felt a kinship. This place… it's got character, alright.
Day 2: Waterfalls! (And My Inner Child Screams with Delight)
- 8:00 AM: Breakfast: A Culinary Adventure (Maybe Not). The complimentary breakfast… well, "eat what you can" is probably the best strategy. Cold eggs, watery coffee, and what looks like a week-old Danish. I grab a piece of dry toast and drown it in jam. Hey, it’s fuel, right? Positive vibes.
- 9:00 AM: Multnomah Falls Mania! Okay, NOW we're talking! I drove about 30 minutes to Multnomah Falls. The sheer force of the water is just… WOW. Pictures do not do this justice! The mist on my face, the roar of the falls… it's pure magic. I feel like a little kid again, just completely awestruck. This is what I came for.
- 10:30 AM: Hiking Mishap (Or, How I Became Friends with a Squirrel). Decided to hike up to the bridge at Multnomah Falls. Halfway up… my legs began to burn. And, just when I was about to give up, I saw a tiny, adorable squirrel. It looked at me, and then promptly ran up a tree, dropping an acorn that landed… right in front of me. We had a moment. We shared a look, a silent understanding. Okay, fine, I kept going. The bridge was gorgeous. The squirrel won.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch: Stumbling Through a Food Truck. Got hungry and stumbled upon a food truck serving up tacos and craft beer. It wasn't bad at all. The beer was cold and the tacos hit the spot.
- 2:30 PM: Return to the Inn: The Great Nap of 2024. I was exhausted, so I took a nap on the monster-sized bed. The air conditioning was still working, so everything was perfect.
Day 3: Hood River and Beyond (Accepting the Mess)
- 9:00 AM: Scenic Drive (And a Moment of Humility). Decided to drive along the Hood River. The views of the orchards are something else.
- 11:00 AM: Exploring Hood River. I made a mistake. I was too tired. Should have went out and about more, but I really enjoyed my monster-sized bed and air conditioning.
- 1:00 PM: Check Out (And a Sigh of… Relief?). After all the drama (and the charm), it was time to leave. The inn has its faults, it really, really does. But, somewhere along the line, I found a strange fondness for its quirky, slightly-falling-apart-but-still-standing self. The view was priceless. The memories, the good, the bad, everything in between? They're mine.
Overall Impression:
This inn is a mess. But it's my mess. It's the mess that gave me incredible views. It's the mess that reminded me to laugh, to breathe, and to appreciate the unexpected. It's the mess that, despite its flaws, somehow managed to win me over. Maybe that's the magic of the Columbia Gorge Inn. Or maybe, I just needed a massive bed and some time to recharge. Either way, I'm leaving with a full heart, messy hair, and a whole lot of stories to tell. And yes, I’d do it again. Just maybe with a better filter for the pictures. And a bigger, more patient friend.
Unbelievable Luxury Awaits: IU Hotel Dingxi Tongwei Center, China - You HAVE to See This!
Escape to Paradise: Unforgettable Stays at the Columbia Gorge Inn - Yeah, Let's Talk About This
Okay, spill it. What's the *deal* with the Columbia Gorge Inn? Is it actually paradise, or a cleverly disguised scam?
The website says "breathtaking views." Are they exaggerating, or am I going to actually… gasp?
Let's talk rooms. Are they… nice? Are they clean? Are there, like, ghosts?
The breakfast situation? Give it to me straight. Is it worth getting out of bed for?
What about activities? Is there anything to *do* besides stare at the landscape (which, let's be real, is probably enough)?
Okay, so the downsides. Any? Don't sugarcoat it; lay it on me.
Would you go back? The ultimate question.
Final thoughts, one sentence.
